a moment.

there's a moment. 

okay, as a mother, there are many moments. 

but there was a particular moment. 

when my little monkey grew out of his baby-ness. 

it came rather suddenly. and probably too quickly. 

i'm sure it had plenty to do with our little mucus coming into our lives

 while you were still so young. 

i mean, monkey, you were only 15 months old 

when you were forced to be a big brother 

and at the same time still be a baby. 

but right before you turned 2, this moment came.

all of a sudden you lost your baby-ness. 

the coos and cries became words. the cuddles grew shorter.

 and you lost your baby smell. c'mon moms, you know the smell. 

and to be honest, when this moment came with monkey, i was okay with it. 

i was ready for your next phase, for i had mucus to care for. 

but now, mucus is losing his baby-ness. 

and i'm not ready. 

but as i've learned, the first rule of mommy-hood is: i can't control everything. 

and so i sit here and relish every ounce of baby-ness mucus has left. 

i hold on to the cuddles just a bit longer. 

i sniff the top of your head inhaling what's left of your baby smell. 

i pinch chubby cheeks and legs for soon i know they will be gone. 

gone will be the days of cradling you in my arms endlessly.

 it's all about the hip action now.

hugs and kisses are dwindling down. 

and soon your words will be convincing me of why you do the things you do.

it's a bittersweet moment.

and i'm not ready for it...

...at all.